Article published by Spheres Magazine, Australia, Issue 27, September 2009

Friend or Foe in the Six of Cups?

The Six of Cups is traditionally referred to as the 'card of memories'.  When reading interpretations of the card I have noticed how many writers say that querents are likely to be seeing the past as wonderful, as it might be if viewed through rose-coloured glasses, and that their present circumstances will probably be coloured by this falsely positive view of the past.

For me, however, the card had just about the opposite effect!  No doubt some people might wonder why given the 'prettiness' of the images.  To me these 'pretty' images looked like one of those ambiguous pictures from a Grimm's fairytale - one that holds deep meaning, the kind that children are simultaneously scared of and fascinated by.

I used to feel sad and hurt whenever this card came up in readings I did for myself.  I saw the child-like figure in the card as me, trying very hard to please the older woman (my mother) and never being able to do so.  Because of the sense of responsibility I felt for my mother's unhappiness, it very much fitted that the 'smaller' figure was older while the 'larger' figure was younger.  The figure walking into the distance always looked like my father absconding from the situation because it was just too difficult to face.  No wonder it made me feel rather peculiar.

So, what to do with a card that is almost constantly challenging?  Keep working with it of course!  It was interesting that I didn't find the other sixes difficult in the same way.  In readings, I could always find a way to see how they fitted with the numerological concept of six as indicating 'the beginnings of harmony'.

My catchphrases for the other sixes were...

• Six of Wands - returning home victorious, but with more work to be done, as indicated by the blanket covering the horse's legs.
• Six of Swords - a quiet passage through a difficult time and the need to use one's mind in a practical way because the boat would clearly sink if the swords were removed.
• Six of Pentacles - being able to give someone (oneself or another) what they really need rather than what you might think they want or should have.

But a condensed meaning for the Six of Cups eluded me.  Eventually, the card showed up in a reading where the meaning clearly did not relate to the dark and unhappy memories I held from my childhood.  At any point in time I am usually working on a theme that has come to me through readings about what is going on in my life.  When I realised it was possible for me to find a positive meaning for the Six of Cups, I happened to be working with The Lovers (card number six in the Major Arcana) and its counterpart The Devil (card number 15) which are so brilliantly mirror-imaged in Pamela Coleman Smith's art.

The Lovers is often interpreted as indicating the need to make a choice between the known past and the unknown future.  In some older tarot decks, this card depicted a young man having to choose between two women, one young and one older, and was even called 'The "Choice' in the Major Arcana.   The Lovers comes after the cards that are often interpreted as 'mother', 'father' and 'education'  (The Empress, The Emperor and The Hierophant), thereby implying we have reached the time when we start making choices for ourselves and the process of individuation begins.

When The Devil comes up in readings, I always ask querents if they are dealing with issues of commitment or bondage.  (By the way, The Devil is not always a 'bad' card in a relationship reading - it can imply commitment in the sense of 'in sickness and in health' as it says in the traditional marriage service.)  We are ony bound by our own heads and hearts:  the chains around the necks of the male/female, Adam/Eve figures on The Devil card are loose.  If they decided to, these figures could remove the chains that bind them and return to the more positive image of The Lovers, Card VI.

So how does all this fit into figuring out a meaning for the Six of Cups?  In the particular reading I was doing for myself, it dawned on me that, of course, as in dreams, we can be any or all of the symbols portrayed.  I didn't always have to be the overly responsible 'child' figure.  I could be the person walking away, or the woman receiving the offering of love shown in the cup held by the taller figure.  I could be the one being 'looked after'.  In that particular reading, I was being shown that I was being cared for by my husband who had stood by me 'through thick and thin' when I had been very ill.  I just hadn't acknowledged, or perhaps even recognised, the love that was being shown to me.  Voila!  Breakthrough time!  How wonderful that moment was for me.  It was such a powerful turning point.  I began to see the Six of Cups in a different way and it has never had the same impact on me since.

My consensed meaning for the Six of Cups became - the opportunity for transgeneration change at the level of the heart.

It is interesting that a card which most people see as pretty and appealing was, for me, one of the darkest images in the whole deck.  As I said earlier, it reminds me of an illustration from a fairytale and what fairytale would be complete without its dark side?  That's what makes them such wonderful educational tools for children and adults alike.  From my perspective, much of the worth of the tarot is its ability to help us find our own solutions.  The symbols in the images on the cards may not look anything like our 'external' lives, but they resonate with our 'inner' lives and usually at just the right time.  That is the joy of synchronicity.